


Before You Figure Me Out

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-02-26 06:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2641730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke maybe, sort of, definitely wants to be Michael's first kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before You Figure Me Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [godfreyroman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/godfreyroman/gifts).



> Based on [this](http://gaskarthcake.tumblr.com/post/95641122681/you-guys-asked-what-interview-i-was-talking-about) basically. The interviewer asked them how old they were when they got their first kiss and Michael said he was 14 and when asked if he remembered the person's name he said "Luke".
> 
> *i tired out this cool online app called [hemmingway](http://www.hemingwayapp.com/) to reedit this work!

It’s hard to not be honest with Luke. He’s just that type of person. There’s something about the tone of his voice (soft, curious, genuine), and the look in his eye (concerned, loving, caring) that made you want to tell the truth. There was something about the way he wore his heart on his sleeve so naturally that made you want rip your own out of your chest and do the same. Everything about him screamed for the truth, good or bad, and demanded it out of you in the most innocent way. Just a tilt of his head and a squint of his eyes and suddenly you forget why you were keeping any secrets at all. With Luke there are no secrets. That’s just how it is.

And a year and a half ago, if you told Michael that he’d be anywhere near Luke Hemmings without gearing up to punch him in the stomach, he’d probably laugh in your face. But here he is. Here they _both_ are. And there are no fists flying or screaming voices—just synchronized rhythms of two guitars in a lazy strum. And if Michael had to put a word on it, he’d say it was nice. Peaceful, even.

They’re locked in Luke’s room with the curtains drawn and the television off. Not locked in to keep anyone out, but to keep themselves in. To give them more of a reason to not put their guitars down; to not ruin the stillness they’ve created within the four walls of Luke’s bedroom. Luke's walls are plain white and something about that puts Michael's mind even more at ease. The feeling of looking up and seeing noting but blankness was comforting in a way. Like they weren't really on Earth anymore, but instead willingly locked in a place greater.

Every so often they’d look up from their fingers on the strings and catch each other’s eye and smile a little. Barely a smirk, but it made Michael feel safe in a way he still can’t even explain if he tried. But he liked the feeling and wanted to keep feeling it for as long as he could.

Somewhere between ten in the morning and four in the afternoon they both ended up on Luke’s carpet with their backs pressed against his bed and their guitars at their side. Together, they listened to the silence around them and Michael was damn near astonished at how the silence didn’t beg to be filled with forced small talk. But you don’t need forced small talk. Not with Luke. Silence and conversation were equivalents with him. Both appreciated and a blessing when done right. Michael thinks he can get used to being in silence with Luke.

From the corner of his eye, Michael sees Luke lean his head back on his bed and look over at him. He can feel the stare burning a hole in his cheek, so he turns to face him.

“What?” he asks softly with almost a smile on his face. He looks into Luke’s eyes, probably the bluest eyes he’s seen in his entire life, and watches Luke watch him.

Luke blinks. “Nothing, it’s just--,” he stops, looks away, and laughs a little. “You ever think you and me could sit in a room together without trying to kill each other?”

Now Michael actually smiles. He shakes his head, looking downward for a minute but something inside him wants to look at Luke again. Something inside him wants to keep looking at him.

“Absolutely fucking not.”

Adjusting himself so that he can rest more of his head on the side of his bed, Luke’s hands press flatly against the carpet as he shifts his body lower.

“I wanted to kill you, you know,” Michael says, a little raise of his eyebrows. That's not news, everyone knew that. And for a while, Luke thought he actually might do it. Michael watches Luke nod dramatically and it makes him want to roll his eyes but he doesn’t. He thinks it's cute, but he doesn't say it. 

“I know.”

“No, I really, truly, honestly wanted to end your life,” Michael tells him, counting off on his fingers, and an obnoxious smile on his face. And although it’s something they can joke about now, it almost scares Michael how now he couldn’t even imagine hurting Luke by accident. He can’t imagine saying anything hurtful to him and meaning it anymore. It scares him how quickly he had a change of heart. Nothing like that’s ever happened to him before. But then again, someone like Luke has never happened to him before either.

Luke laughs, grabs the spine of his guitar like he means to pick it up but lets it go a second later. “Yeah I _know_.”

The silence comes back, but it’s welcomed. Luke turns his head back forward and stares at the white wall ahead of them; Michael plays with the carpet below them. Outside are sounds of cars that zoom past Luke’s open window. They hear smaller children on the street chasing each other around.

A second later though, Luke’s turning back toward him again. Curiosity is tugging at his tongue as he sits up straighter. He starts, “Well is it true…” his voice trails off and it causes Michael to look over at him, more confused than anything. He raises his eyebrows at Luke, telling him to continue.

“Is it true you hated me because I liked—“

“Kinda,” Michael cuts in, shaking his head, not needing Luke to finish.

Both of them liking the same girl was only part of the reason he hated Luke, and if he’s honest with himself it’s not even part of the _real_ reason. At this point he’s not even sure what his real reason was anymore. There probably never was one to begin with. Go figure, Michael guesses.

Michael wants to let it go. He wants to let the conversation dissolve into nothingness and wait for Luke to start up another conversation about something completely different. Something like if Michael's staying for dinner, and if so what are they going to eat, or if he did the math homework that’s due tomorrow, or anything. But Luke doesn’t budge and Michael can’t resist making an ass out of himself, apparently.

The words burn on his tongue for a moment before he has the nerve to push them out. Michael asks in a softer voice than he means to: “Did you kiss her?”

He watches Luke blink twice, sort of look away, and then answer back with his mouth curling up into a grin, “Yeah…did you?”

And now Michael’s trapped and it’s all his fault. He did this to himself and he knows it. He set himself up for this. Part of him, a smaller part than he would’ve guessed, wants to just say he kissed her too. Partly so that they seem even, but mostly so that he didn’t have to tell Luke he’s never kissed anyone before. But another part of him, a bigger part, wants to tell Luke that he didn’t. He doesn’t know why that part was winning but it was and he couldn’t stop himself from basically blurting out, “No, I didn’t…”

The look in Luke’s eye lets Michael know he’s ready to move on and accept Michael’s answer at face-value. Quickly, Michael has learned that Luke isn't the type of person to question you about something like this. He's gentle with not only his emotions, but others around him, and Michael's never been exposed to that before. He knows Luke is willing to take what Michael is saying to him and leave it alone, but for some reason – some fucking reason – Michael isn’t ready to do that for himself.

Just as Luke’s turning back to face forward again Michael says, so slow it barely sounds like anything, “I’ve….never…” He stops for a split second and could already see Luke’s eyes expanding a little. Somewhere in that second Michael loses his words (and his courage) and they break apart. He looks away, down at his hands, shaking his head. Suddenly this was the dumbest idea he's had in a long time... and Michael's got a pretty long list of dumb ideas.

When Luke speaks again his voice is small. “Ever?”

Michael nods and feels like maybe he should feel ashamed or embarrassed but he doesn’t. Not anymore. He tells himself again that Luke isn't that type of person. He doesn’t make you feel bad for anything; not even the things you should feel bad about like failing a test or making your mom mad at you. He doesn’t judge people, and Michael thinks maybe (definitely) that Luke’s the best person he knows.

The sound of Luke swallowing is audible in the lack of any other noise in Luke’s room. As Michael looks up he sees Luke adjusting his body to face Michael completely. His eyes are almost animated with care and it makes Michael need to look away. It’s intimidating how open Luke is with his feelings; Michael doesn't know how to talk to him sometimes.

Maybe Michael spent too many summers locked away with his PlayStation and not enough nights down at the river with the rest of the kids his age. Maybe he spent too many recess sessions alone when they were kids and not enough time playing tag with everyone else. Maybe it was something he unintentionally missed out on while being an only child whereas Luke was the last of three. Whatever it was, there was an apparent difference in the way Luke and Michael handle their feelings and it always made Michael feel at a disadvantage.

“It’s nothing to feel embarrassed about,” Luke tells him, a shrug to this shoulders, and a faint smile to accompany. Michael sees Luke’s fingers lift from his leg and twitch a little, like maybe he was going to reach out and touch him but decided against it. Instead he slaps Michael’s arm playfully and tells him, “I mean, it’s their loss, right? I’d totally kiss you.”

They both begin to laugh it off but suddenly there’s a hitch in both of their breathing and nothing really seems like a joke anymore. The look in Luke’s eye is too real and even without looking directly at him Michael knows he couldn’t handle looking back. Luke doesn’t take his hand away, but instead lets it slide down Michael’s arm and twists his fingers to hook around his wrist. Michael’s skin feels like he’s on fire, his whole body feels like he’s on fire, he doesn’t think he can speak.

Suddenly all Michael can think about is how much he wants to kiss Luke. He stares at his lips and wants to know what it'd be like to press his mouth to Luke's. He wants to know if he kisses as gentle as he does everything else, or if it's the only side of Luke that's a little assertive. And then suddenly he's thinking that maybe he's always wanted to kiss Luke. The thought doesn't scare him as much as he thinks it should. 

The lack of response has Luke backtracking. “I mean…if you want—like, if it’s not w-weird? I—fuck,” Luke rambles as his face washes over to a light red color. He presses his hand on the floor like he’s thinking about standing up and leaving. Michael touches his hand.

“It wouldn’t be weird,” Michael says to him in a voice that’s barely audible over the pounding of his own heart. He can’t believe his own words—or maybe he just can’t believe he’s said them out loud.

In all honesty, Michael thinks it’s probably the most truthful thing he’s said in a while.

Michael thinks his hand is shaking, but he’s not sure. He’s not really sure of anything right now other than there’s a feeling in his heart and his stomach that he doesn’t have a word for. The only thing he can focus on is Luke’s eyes, and his mouth, and the grip he has on his wrist that’s getting tighter.

Michael’s not exactly sure when it happened, but there’s suddenly only a few inches between his mouth and Luke’s mouth now. He thinks he’s going to pass out before his lips touch Luke’s; anticipation growing. Luke, always an open book, looks timid; but there’s a determination in his eyes. The way he’s staring down at Michael’s mouth makes Michael want to take the biggest chance he’s ever taken in his short life.

It surprises himself just as much as it surprises Luke when there’s suddenly no space between their lips. Luke’s mouth is just as soft as it looks (not that Michael’s been looking or thinking about his mouth at all), and he breathes out evenly when Michael’s index and middle finger tuck under his chin to help hold their position.

The comfort Michael feels is something he’s never felt before. Like a breath of fresh air, or an electric shock in a good way. He felt so alive; like there were little lightning bolts circulating through his blood stream and waking up every nerve he has in his body, because suddenly his entire being was on overdrive and the only thing he could register was Luke. Luke’s tongue in his mouth, Luke’s hand moving from his wrist to the hem of his shirt, Luke’s breathing in his ears, Luke’s teeth sliding against his bottom lip… just Luke.

Honestly, Michael’s not sure how long the kiss lasts, but sometime during it his eyes slipped closed and so did Luke’s. When they pull apart and their eyes open again they can’t stop themselves from smiling. Immediately Luke looks away, bringing his hand up to his mouth like he's trying to preserve the feeling of Michael's mouth on it. Michael thinks he should look away too; it feels like they should both feel bashful, but he doesn’t. Somehow he feels confident and satisfied and his heart is beating too fast but it makes him feel alive and he likes it. Fuck, he likes it.

With his hand still touching his lips, Luke asks, “Was that…okay?” He’s smiling; a raise of his eyebrows at the end of his question.

Michael lets out a breath, tries not to laugh because “ _okay_ ”? _Was it okay_?

He thinks about telling Luke it was amazing, or maybe perfect, but he doesn’t want to sound overzealous. So he nods instead, never breaks eye contact with Luke so he knows he means it, and tells him, “Yeah, it was.”

Immediately he sees a spark in Luke’s eyes-- relief is what it is. Luke nods a little and giggles mostly because his heart is beating so fast. It feels more like they just skydived than kissed and Michael wants to ask Luke if his hands are shaking too, and if everything besides his heart and his lips feel numb like his does. He wants to ask Luke if he can catch his breath, because Michael doesn't think he can just yet. (He wants to ask Luke if he can kiss him again.)

He sees Luke shake his head and his eye begin to dart around the room. He's nervous, Michael can tell. He wants to tell Luke he doesn't have to be nervous, but he's afraid if he says it aloud it may make things worse. So instead, he watches Luke gather his thoughts and then look back over at him again.

“Um--,” Luke clears his throat a little, finding his voice again. “Do you wanna, maybe, um... watch a movie?”

Now it’s Michaels’ turn to feel relieved. The last thing he wants is for this to make things weird between them. But movies are good. Movies are _normal_. And a movie sounds just like what they need right now.

He nods, says “Yeah, sure,” in a voice so quiet he might as well not have said it at all, but Luke pushes himself to his feet toward the television anyway. Michael watches him turn the DVD player on and press play without even checking to see what was in it. Neither of them are surprised when a scene from _School of Rock_ starts playing.

“ _Rock got no reason, rock got no rhyme_ ,” the television sings as Luke’s crawling backward to sit next to Michael again. His fingers slide over Michael’s, just slightly enough for it to seem like an accident but they both know it isn’t. They don’t acknowledge it, though. Instead, Michael lets his thumb slide over Luke’s without a word, but somehow it’s saying everything neither of them can say right now.

It feels like the start of something Michael's always wanted, but never knew it.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are nice (★^O^★)  
> come say hey on [tumblr](http://coltnposey.tumblr.com) if you wanna!


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